Weathered Souls
“The force that through the green fuse drives the flower” — Dylan Thomas
I am sitting at a table with four lovely young women in a trendy gathering place called Weathered Souls Brewing Company. Despite feeling weathered by the 105-degree weather outside, I am invigorated by the youthful energy in the room. My 81-year-old soul has been weathered in a good way, like leather that gets better with age and wear, because I seek out opportunities like this one - to be with people who energize and inspire me - and to resist generational isolation.
The individuals seated at the table with me are not weathered by age. Despite the approximately 50-year age gap between me and these women, I feel a sense of belonging among them. Fueled by feminine energy, they are like flowers at the end of a green fuse. They listen attentively, smiling genuinely while making eye contact, responding with joy, curiosity, and genuine interest. No competitiveness or one-upmanship.
We are not old friends who have known each other for years. We are all part of a Know Your Neighbor project designed to build bridges across zip codes in our community and bring people together. I watch with admiration as they build bridges at this table making connections with new friends.
I’m contrasting it with the many meetings like this with my male acquaintances where some degree of competitiveness, not connection, often drives the tone of the meeting. They feed their addiction to being right and their egos. Of course, this is a broad generality. There are many men who are unashamedly in touch with their feminine side.
That force or energy, feminine and masculine, "that through the green fuse drives the flower" that Dylan Thomas writes about, is divided into two channels at an early stage of life. These energies do not recognize gender and flow freely through us, regardless of gender, until they are directed into either the “male or female” channel. This might be due to nature, but it is more likely a result of nurture.
Despite the immense human suffering that we witness in our society today, we are debating gender. We marginalize men who are “too feminine” and women who are “too masculine.” The argument often boils down to, "If someone has a penis, they must be male, and this is how males should behave. End of discussion."
We are all like flowers at the end of the green fuse. A flower can bloom more brightly when it has access to all the nutrients in the soil. Maybe we can all bloom more brightly if we allow ourselves and others to access all of the energies available to us.