The term “Woke” came into being to describe people who are awakened to the effect that we have on each other by our attitudes, behavior, and communication as we sleepwalk through life unaware of the worlds that other people inhabit.
We were awakened in a jarring way by the death of George Floyd. It unleashed an inner fury that has been simmering for years by people who have been stereotyped and excluded from the mainstream of our culture. They suffered silently with great dignity until they reached the tipping point, and like Howard Beale in the movie Network, thousands of people cried out, “We’re mad as Hell, and we’re not going to take this anymore.” Almost instantly, our culture changed.
We watched an old Fred Astaire movie this week on the Turner Classic Movies channel, and the announcer apologized in advance for one scene in the movie where they performed in blackface. That’s what “Woke” looks like. It’s not cool anymore to make fun of other people.
This awakening, as painful as it is for some, has confronted us with our unconscious (sometimes conscious) biases against people who are not like us. Let’s hope it is a sign of the evolution of our species.
However, it has become the focus of political campaigns over the next couple of years. About half of our country is against being “woke.” We should do a better job of understanding why so many people are against “waking up.”
There’s another ism that we need to address while we’re at it. Ageism. There are those who will say this is not the right time to be talking about my “ism” because it detracts from a more important “ism.” I am not trying to rebut the current mantra by shouting “Old Lives Matter.” I’m jumping on the bandwagon full of woke people and shouting, “Me too.” At 81, I’ve earned the right to indulge myself with a gentle diatribe.
Let me take you on a tour of what an “old person” has to deal with. First of all, the term “old person” is derogatory. Let’s look up “old” in the dictionary.
old/ōld/adjective
having lived for a long time; no longer young: “the old man lay propped up on cushions”
2. belonging only or chiefly to the past.
Why can’t I just be a person?
I received a birthday wish today on Facebook from a friend whom I don’t know (like most of our Facebook friends). It said, “There’s a stench in the air from an old fart.” This person meant well. He thought he was being funny. It’s not funny. Let’s break it down.
Old is an adjective that makes any noun worse. A fart is bad enough by itself because we all know what one of those things can do in a room, elevator, or under the sheets. But, old? Let’s imagine what it’s like after it’s fermented in there for a while. This thing that would make any space uninhabitable is a metaphor to describe what Tom Brokaw called The Greatest Generation.
Jokes. In our politically correct society, it’s not OK to make jokes about gays, lesbians, blacks, Latinos, jews, et al. But everybody loves a good old joke. Especially those jokes about old people having sex . . . or not having sex. It’s standard material for late-night talk show hosts and comedians. It would be nice to see a couple of Millennials in those Cialis bathtubs. They have trouble getting it up too.
40th birthdays. Aren’t those “over the hill” birthday cards a hoot? And the black balloons. That’s when we get the first inkling that we’re left behind.
Stereotyping. I knew I was getting old, but I hoped nobody would notice. Then people started asking me if I was retired when they met me. I began to understand what it feels like to be stereotyped based on appearance.
While we’re on appearance . . . someone told me once that people get uglier as they grow older. Ouch! That one hurt. If you’re a racist, you’re not going to turn into a black person when you get older. If you’re ageist, you’re going to turn into that which you have ridiculed. The wrinkled skin, puffy eyes, and turkey necks are waiting for you. Why not start finding the beauty in that now? It’s there. If you look.
The job market. Forget about it. Yes, we’re a protected class. The reason we have protected classes is because people want to discriminate based on a variety of factors and age is one of them. Even though it’s illegal to discriminate on the basis of age, it’s tough to get a job past a certain age. I have two degrees and a wealth of experience with organizational development in large and small corporations, but I feel like a homeless person on the street corner with a sign when I go into the job market. That’s unfortunate because the Millennials could learn a lot from me. And, I could learn a lot from them as well.
Coming out. We hear a lot about the feeling of liberation that people feel when they can finally be who they are without fear of exclusion. Many of us get to that point with our age. We’re embarrassed to tell people our age. It’s a liberating feeling to say, “I’m 81, and I’m proud of it.”
“For your age” qualifiers. That was an amazing marathon run . . . . for your age. You look good . . . . for your age.
I asked my dear friend, Bill Zaner, who left this world at the age of 86, why people tend to get a little grumpy as they grow older. He said, “Because the world is having a party, and they aren’t invited.”
Maybe we should start looking at what our elders have gained instead of what they’ve lost. We are your forward scouts. We’ve traveled this path before you and we know what lies ahead. While we may have lost our beauty (your definition of beauty) and our energy (your definition of energy), we have gained the wisdom that comes from suffering the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”, the same ones you will suffer as you walk the same path of life.
As Chip Conley said in his wonderful book, Wisdom at Work: The Making of a Modern Elder, “When an elder dies, a library has burned down.”
Maybe we should visit an old-fashioned library every now and then instead of looking to Google for wisdom.
FUCKING BRILLIANT!