Getting Old or Growing Old?
Chip Conley, the founder of the Modern Elder Academy, encourages us to "Grow whole, not old." But what does it mean to grow whole? Many of the people I see at the Senior Center, where I teach technology classes every week, appear to be falling apart rather than growing whole. However, occasionally I encounter individuals who seem to have it all together. They enter the room with bright eyes, a spring in their step, and a genuine eagerness to learn something new. You could say they have aged well, like fine wine. Let's use wine as a metaphor for the aging process of humans.
Curious about the aging process of wine, I asked ChatGPT for information. It provided me with 10 key factors and changes that occur during the aging of wine. One factor stood out as particularly relevant to the aging of humans: flavor integration. Over time, the different elements of the wine, such as the fruit, oak, and other flavor compounds, can blend together more harmoniously, resulting in a balanced and well-rounded wine.
A person who has grown whole has integrated the three centers of their being. These centers represent different aspects of human experience and self-awareness:
Head Center (Thinking Center): This center is associated with intellectual and cognitive functions. It's where thoughts, analysis, and rationality are prominent. People who predominantly operate from their head center may be characterized as analytical, logical, and cerebral. They tend to rely on reason and intellect to make decisions and understand the world around them.
Heart Center (Feeling Center): The heart center represents emotions, feelings, and interpersonal connections. It's where empathy, compassion, love, and a sense of emotional well-being reside. People who are centered in their heart tend to be in touch with their emotions and prioritize empathy and compassion in their interactions with others.
Gut Center (Instinctual or Body Center): The gut center is associated with instincts, intuition, and physical sensations. It's where our primal instincts and gut feelings originate. People who operate from their gut center may rely on intuition and instinctual responses to navigate the world. They tend to be attuned to their bodily sensations and may have a strong sense of self-preservation.
Most of us have a home base in one of those centers. It’s not that we never visit the other centers, we just rely on our home base for many of our decisions and actions. I’m a head person. I’ve lived in my head most of my life, analyzing and overthinking everything, unable or unwilling to take action on a project or simply saying spontaneously, “I love you.” I’m so grateful for the people I’ve met in my life who have helped me open these other centers, especially my heart center. Thinking is cool, but feeling is better.
One way to work on yourself is by being present in the body. Another way is by expanding the heart. A third way is by quieting the mind. A balanced, well-rounded, and whole person finds a way to work on all three at the same time.