Today is my birthday. I’m 82. The government classifies me as “elderly,” a word that often carries the connotation of feeble and dependent. I’m not feeble and dependent, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Most of us will become feeble and dependent at some point in the future if we live long enough.
I don’t describe myself the way the government describes me. I’m still working, not because I have to but because I want to. I’m still learning. I’m taking a one-year program with the Center for Action and Contemplation. Last year, I finished my certification as a mindfulness and meditation teacher. I go to Baja and Santa Fe at least once a year for a week-long learning retreat at the Modern Elder Academy. Last year, I rode my motorcycle to Santa Fe to attend a course. Yes, I’m an outlier, but I shouldn’t be.
Many older adults in our culture have allowed themselves to be defined by the institutionalized and cultural ageism that surrounds all of us. We invite more rejection if we fight age like Don Quixote tilting at windmills. If we can learn to view our life as a ladder that takes us to new and interesting places instead of an arc that peaks at midlife and then gradually declines, we can remain productive and contributing members of society well into our later years.
We should have more conversations about what we gain as we age instead of what we lose. We can reframe aging as an opportunity instead of a problem. Research has shown that we gain wisdom and pattern recognition as we age. We can connect the dots more easily than our young counterparts. That’s why we make great coaches and mentors. We are more emotionally intelligent. We are less reactive. Some of us become less controlled by our egos and discover our souls. All of these traits are needed in our culture right now.
We must learn to let go of the person we used to be and embrace a new version of ourselves. I climbed the Grand Teton when I was 50. I couldn’t do that today. I have to let go of that person, quit longing for that kind of adventure and ego gratification, and find a different adventure. There are so many adventures for an octogenarian if we look for them.
Maybe it’s time to celebrate the “Wise Elders."
very happy birthday pat! the word elderly disturbs me as well. or rather the connotation of the word. as each day passes, i hope to get closer to being and having the wisdom of an elder. hope to see you in santa fe soon. best to you, bonnie
Happy Bday! 🎂🎉 I am looking forward to Sante Fe MEA this month. See you then.
I am truly enjoying your blogs.