It’s Friday afternoon, and I’ve arrived at the El Dorado Hotel & Spa in Santa Fe, NM to attend the Writer’s Room Retreat. I’ve had some misgivings about attending this event because I thought I would be surrounded by professional, published writers, and I would feel like George Goebel on the Tonight Show in 1969, as he sat with Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, and Dean Martin. He said, “Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?”
I felt like a pair of brown shoes in a roomful of tuxedos at first. I seemed to be older than everyone else, and not nearly as pretty. I was one of the few men in a roomful of 500 women. They were all so intelligent and self-assured with the look of women who have stepped into their place in the world and claimed it. Warrior women.
Then, Anne Lamotte, our first speaker came on stage. A middle-aged woman casually dressed with hair pulled back like she did it just before stepping on stage. She said, “You’re here to be and discover who you truly are.” Then, I understood why there were so few men here. Guys just aren’t into that stuff, especially in a room full of women.
I thought I was there to discover the mechanics of putting words on a page. After listening to her talk, I realized that writing isn’t about the mechanics of putting words on a page, it’s about the emotions and psychology of putting ourselves on the page. That’s harder than the mechanics.
She said if we’re serious about writing, we have to stop not writing. There was a sigh of recognition in the room as we all knew she was talking to us. Even though she’s reached the pinnacle of success as a writer, she shared that she still struggles to sit down and write. That’s a good lesson for life as well as writing. If we’re serious about life, we need to stop not doing the things we know we need to do.
Most of our lives are staying one step ahead of the abyss. We think we don’t have time for creative or inner work. We do have the time. We just have to carve it out of our day. She told us not to wait for inspiration. Form the habit of putting your butt in the chair every day and write. Inspiration will show up.
She did get into some mechanics of writing. She said it’s the details that make people human. When we write about a person, describe them with as much detail as possible. I saw another lesson in life here. People are more interesting when we pay attention to them and really see them.
She said that writing is like driving in the dark with our headlights on. We can only see a short distance in front of us. As we move forward with our writing, we can see what’s next. Another lesson for life.
At the end of her talk, she said, “I write to find meaning. I write to find out where I’m headed.”
I found meaning in this weekend, and I’m more curious about what I can’t see beyond the headlights.
LOVE Anne Lamott. Definitely read Bird by Bird if you haven't yet. Sounds like a magical weekend. We can mutually encourage one another to not not write.