When we’re not in the game, we can see the game more clearly. Maybe that’s why fans are giving advice to the players as they sit in the bleachers with their beer and painted bellies.
But the fans are still in the game with their egos. A loss is as much a blow to their egos as if they were in the game. Here in Texas, people cried when the Cowboys lost.
One of the blessings of age is seeing the game of life more clearly. As the ego begins to fade with age, we see reality more clearly. In the end, it doesn’t matter who wins or loses. We can see that it’s all a game. It’s a game that’s been created by the ego.
But, while we’re in the game, it matters. We wear our ego like armor. The strongest win. The most beautiful get all the attention.
The first half of life is about growing outward. It’s all about the ego. How can I make myself look good? How can I create a persona to present to the world that will get me the love and recognition I crave? How can I get more stuff? How can I win? Of course, our waistlines are growing outward also.
For some, the second half of life is about growing inward. I say for some because I still see people ruled by their egos late in life. I seem to have sharpened my ego radar in my later years. I can see egos, including my own, pushing their way through the crowd to get attention, like Donald Trump when he rudely pushed NATO leaders out of the way to get in front for a photo.
Releasing the grip of our ego might take more intentional effort than many of us are willing to give. However, there is a world waiting for us behind our egos. Our true self awaits. Conne Zweig, author of The Inner Work of Age, calls this aging from the inside out.
Many of us aren’t in the game anymore. We’ve shed those ego-based roles that we’ve played all our lives. We’re spectators now, looking at life critically and seeing the absurdity of painted beer bellies and tears shed over losses. That’s the beginning of wisdom. We have the time and the courage to ask questions such as:
Whose life am I living?
Why, even when things are going well, do things feel not quite right?
Am I walking through life in shoes that are too small for me?
Why does my life seem like a script written elsewhere, and I have been barely consulted, if at all?
Why does so much seem like a disappointment, a betrayal, a bankruptcy of expectations?
What is most important to me now?
Questions like these start us on a spiritual Hero’s Journey. A further elaboration on the inner work of aging can be found in Chip Conley’s newly released book, Learning to Love Midlife, 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better With Age.
Thought provoking and very inspirational P