A Late-life Treasure Hunt
Have you crossed the threshold into the second half of life yet? That usually occurs around 40 or 50, but not always. Sometimes, it occurs earlier or later.
If you’ve already crossed it, were you kicking, screaming, crying, and feeling that you have crossed over the summit and now are on a long downhill journey into oblivion? Or did you run toward it enthusiastically anticipating this exciting new stage of life?
If you're like most people, the first question probably resonates with you. Having crossed a certain age threshold, you might feel a sense of embarrassment about your age. You certainly don't want anyone to know your age. You believe if you don't mention it, no one will notice. You still identify with your younger self and yearn to reclaim your youthful beauty and energy.
I've just shared my journey into late life. Now, at 82, I can reflect on how I resisted letting go of the person I once was, and hesitated to accept the person I was becoming. Not better or worse, simply different.
Many people claim to have lived for years at the ages of 29, 39, 49, 59, 69, and so on. These decade's birthdays appear to be particularly challenging. Why do we dread aging instead of embracing it?
Maybe it’s because we weren’t taught how to age. We weren’t taught that, like the caterpillar, we would go through this transition and come out as a butterfly if we did it right. We weren’t taught that the treasures of late-life were waiting for us.
In her book "The Inner Work of Age: Shifting From Role to Soul", Connie Zweig offers a glimpse of the late-life treasures that are waiting for us:
“As we let go of our midlife heroic efforts and values, our wounds and regrets, and begin to view our lives from a higher vantage point—as we discover renewed purpose and meaning in late life—we start to cross a threshold from Hero to Elder. This archetypal shift in awareness, similar to the transition from role to soul, does not happen spontaneously. It necessitates conscious intention and inner work to nurture the emerging Elder, to liberate ourselves from the past, become grounded in the present, become aware of the shadow, and serve the common good.”
Treasures of Late Life
Releasing the past so that it no longer controls how we feel or act now.
Releasing our hurt, anger, resentment, and regret by using emotional repair to reframe relationships.
Cultivating a genuine self-acceptance of who we are now, which liberates us from our inner critic and empowers us to feel and act with full authenticity.
Finding a broader and deeper view of our life stories, which reveals our soul’s mission Reclaiming our lost creativity and exploring its joyous value today.
Creating a quieter mind, which gives us space from negative emotions about aging.
Experiencing a deeper identity, which offers freedom from our past roles and responsibilities.
Discovering a revitalized energy that opens us to play, beauty, and gratitude.
Reconnecting with activism and service, which ends isolation and connects us to a kinship community.
Choosing a spiritual practice that fits our stage of life and brings rewards to our mental health, brain health, and emotional health.
Living with a renewed orientation toward the future that includes our evolutionary purpose and legacy.
Ultimately, feeling a sense of peace in the face of death.
These treasures await us all if we can reframe aging as a positive transition into the next chapter of our lives. As a bonus, according to Becca Levy in her book Breaking the Age Code, we can add 7.5 years to our lives by adopting a positive attitude toward aging.
Let's reframe aging from being an arc that goes "over the hill" to a ladder that we continually climb, heading towards the treasures of late life.